The Perfect Match – Our Kidney Transplant Story

*This is not a sponsored post. All opinions and contant belong to jenny at dapperhouse. Thank you to Eric Schmidt Photography Chicago for the post-operation photoshoot!

The Perfect Match - Our Kidney transplant Story - jenny at dapperhouse - Eric Schmidt Photography

In the summer of 2004 we found out that my husband may have issues with his kidneys. After lab tests and a double kidney biopsy, it was confirmed that Paul had Stage 2 (1-5 scale with 2 being “low kidney function”) kidney disease, due to a genetic condition called IGA Nephropathy (IGA). This condition had affected his body since he was born, but kidney disease is often a slow and silent killer so he didn’t know about it until he was 33 years old. With IGA, anytime Paul caught a respiratory infection like the common cold, his body was unable to break down the antibodies (white blood cells) used to fight the virus. All the years of the antibodies being forced through his kidneys caused scarring, holes and irreparable damage to the tiny filtering units called glomeruli. His kidneys had progressively lost their ability to clear wastes from his body.

As harsh as this was to take in, we focused on the good news; which was that he would likely maintain enough kidney function to last into his late 50’s or longer without having to rely on dialysis or a transplant. With children ages 12, 9 and 2, Paul and Jen were relieved to know that he could put this issue on the back burner for 20-25 years and focus on living life as a husband and dad.

The PErfect Match - How our Family Survived Kidney Failure jenny at dapperhouse

Almost a decade went by before Paul’s health began to decline. After numerous visits to the nephrology doctor it was determined that his kidneys had degraded at a more progressive rate than initially discussed. In March 2014, it was confirmed that Paul was in Stage 5 renal failure.

Given his kidney function, Paul had limited options and the next step was to go through the approval process for inclusion on the kidney transplant wait list and begin dialysis.


Paul and I tried to put our disbelief and anguish aside and tried to be positive. We busied ourselves with researching transplant hospitals, wait times, doctors, medical reviews and how to accept life living on a dialysis machine. We discussed things with our children now 23, 19 and 11, to help them understand how our lives would change and what could be expected moving forward. The whole family stayed positive and supportive of one another during this trying time.  Myself and our two older children agreed to be tested as kidney donors right away. It was just another bump in the road that we would get through together.


In addition to our immediate family, relatives, co-workers and friends of  Paul stepped forward and offered to be tested as donors with the hopes to shorten the wait time on dialysis or the lengthy transplant waiting list. The wait list for cadaver kidneys were 5-7 years in Chicago. Paul and I knew that finding a living donor match was a long-shot, but our extensive online research led us to numerous national kidney exchange programs.(read more about this here)

We knew that because finding a living donor match is so rare, this swap process would be most likely be the best route to finding a kidney for Paul, so I started the long process of becoming medically eligible to donate my kidney.

Imagine my surprise when the first labs came back and it was determined that Paul and I met the initial criteria to be a match! This news was almost too strange to believe! But, we were told not to get our hopes up because there are so many tests and procedures involved with matching the tissues and antibodies to avoid rejection of an organ by the recipient that it was a long shot. Everything would have to be perfect and that was about a 2% possibility for spouses.

(Read more about what it takes to be a living kidney donor)

After over a month of doctors, labs and hospital visits it was time to patiently wait for the results. We were called to the doctor’s office in August 2014 to hear the news. After some explanation about the numbers that determine the eligibility of a matching donor and recipient, it was found that we were indeed in every aspect, a truly perfect match. It was almost too much to wrap our heads around. The next step was to schedule the surgery.

The Perfect Match - @dapperhouse #livingdonor #kidneytransplant @EricSchmidtPhotog

The doctors set a date for the transplant with us knowing that there were still more last minute compatibility test to be done. It was challenging to wait because Paul’s health was declining so quickly. He was being poisoned by his own blood, but the doctors could not put him on dialysis to risk his body rejecting my kidney.

After two emotional postponements due to lab errors and further testing, the date of October 1st, 2014 was finally set in stone. We had learned to be calloused and guarded in case the transplant did not go through for some reason. We joked a lot and acted nonchalant about the ordeal but we were hoping deep down that it would all work out this time.

The Perfect Match - jenny at dapperhouse - Our Kidney Transplant Story

In the early hours of October 1st 2014.  Paul and I traveled into the city of Chicago for the transplant operations at Rush University Hospital. I went into surgery first so they could remove my left kidney, and by the late afternoon it had been successfully transplanted into Paul’s lower abdomen.

I had minor complications during my surgery. Paul had two complications so serious that caused the surgery to be stalled twice and threatened his life. They almost had to abort the whole transplant while Paul was on the operating table, but thanks to the expertise of the surgeons at RUSH Hospital Paul’s life and my (Paul’s new) kidney were saved.  It was a total success!

THe Perfect Match - At the hospital the morning of the surgery - jenny at dapperhouse #livingdonor #kidney #transplant

It has been three months since the surgery and all is well. Recovery while difficult, was short lived and our new normal is drinking a lot of water! Paul regularly visits the hospital to monitor kidney functions.  In addition, Paul has to take many pills which include anti-rejection and immunosuppressant pills. He will take these pills twice a day for the rest of his life which is much less intrusive than dialysis and should extend the life of his new kidney at least 20 more years.

The Perfect Match - Husband and Wife Kidney Donation Story - jenny at dapperhouse

I believe support from family and friends is the key to handling difficult situations. We could not have kept our optimism without the love and care from the people that we care so much about! Our closest friends even threw us a Kidney Transplant Party to celebrate the excitement!

We have learned that  life is precious and can change on a dime. Cherishing friends and family takes priority over everything.

Love what matters and hold tight to it.

* Pictures courtesy of Eric Schmidt Photography in Chicago.

57 thoughts on “The Perfect Match – Our Kidney Transplant Story

  1. It’s wonderful to hear that you two are doing well. A perfect match for sure!! Best wishes to the both of you! 🙂

  2. Thank you! It was a fun day knowing that we’ve already made it to the 3 month anniversary 🙂 Happy New Year to you!!

  3. What a wonderful, heartfelt story. Thank you for sharing. You two are truly blessed to have one another!!

  4. I had seen a bit about this on Facebook earlier in the fall and heard family members talking here and there about it, but didn’t know all of these details until now. Truly amazing and inspirational story. xoxox

  5. I’m so happy to hear that things are going well! I live in Chicago and Rush is an AMAZING hospital! That’s crazy how were two were a match, it was fate <3

  6. What an amazing story! Wow. How lucky he was to find you and have you in his life 🙂

  7. I saw your updates on Facebook. thanks for sharing the entire story here. My brother did his residency at Rush and know what a great hospital it is. Wishing you both an amazing 2015

  8. Thank you for sharing your story – all of it. What an amazing story. I wish you many long and happy years with his new kidney continuing to work.

  9. Wow, thank you so much for sharing such a great story. I will keep your family in my prayers for many years of healthy life.

  10. Wow! How incredible is that, that you were your husband’s kidney match?! Im so happy to hear about both of your recoveries. This is truly very inspiring!

  11. What an amazing story. Crazy to be a match! My HS friend just gave a kidney to a stranger in a trail that would help her cousin find a match. It’s amazing what kind of gift you can give when you are a match! God bless!

  12. It is incredible that you were a kidney donor for your husband. You two are most certainly soul mates! I am so glad that all turned out well for the both of you!!

  13. What a crazy amazing story!
    Praying that there will be no side effects from all the medication he has to take {that by the way looks ridiculous} and that his body continues to heal and that the two of you will live happily ever after 🙂

  14. Wow, just wow! amazing journey you guys have had. Hold each other tight. Prayers for continued healing and blessings! Happy New yEar!

  15. I am truly happy for you and Paul. You are blessed and indeed a perfect match. I lost my brother over the summer due to cancer but he was also on dialysis for 5 years prior. He continues to shine down on us. I am pregnant with my first son, and he has been diagnosed with enlarged kidneys. We are hopeful and praying that this condition will correct itself prior to birth or with immediate medical care following birth. I am happy to read your story as my baby boy could be Paul. Stay encouraged. I wishing you and your family and wonder New Year and decades more to come.

  16. It sounds like he is very well loved, by you and so many others. What a beautiful story. And now you are truly one…though it sounds like you were, long before he received your kidney. 🙂 Happy New Year to you both!

  17. I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with so many big emotional things on your life. Congratulations on your baby boy, you are blessed to have a son 🙂 As far as his enlarged kidneys go. . . hope, prayer and education are your best survival tools right now along with support and love. I will keep you and your little one in my prayers and positive thoughts as well. Please keep in touch!

  18. I’m so glad for you and your family that everything worked out. It sounds like a really tough but memorable journey. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.

  19. How true to be “destined for one another.” So happy that you both of you are doing well and all turned out fine. Inspirational story.

  20. Love your story. I was able to donate to my husband just 2 months ago. Gotta love the 2% club! We call it a miracle. Bless you guys!

  21. You are just making out of the rough stages of recovery right now. I am so excited that you were able to be a match to your husband because you’re right – SUCH a MIRACLE! Congrats to you being a match and having a successful surgery. BE prepared for ups and downs the first year and stay positive! Thank you for sharing your story with me 🙂

  22. I had my transplant 8/23/2005! I also have IGA and my mom was my donor! She gave me life twice. Your give you have given your husband is undoubtedly priceless! The medication for me has decreased from what I was on when I first had my transplant, however it’s still a lot! My husband is my soulmate and without him I probably wouldn’t have made it threw all I have gone threw these past 10 years! Treat everyday like its your last and love like crazy! Love and prayers sent your way!

  23. Hi Tanya, I am so encouraged and excited to read about your personal story!!! I am really glad to hear that you are healthy and happy and have your kidney issues under control. Thank you for the Love and Prayers (right back at you!)

  24. My husband is donating his kidney to me on July 21. Your story is like mine is truly wonderful. I send much happiness to your family. ,

  25. I am excited and moved to hear that you and your husband are a match and that you will be feeling so much better soon! Thank you for your happy thoughts as those are always needed and welcome to make life more beautiful. If you want to reach out on facebook message I am on as “Jenny Temcio” and you could let me know how you and your husband are doing after surgery!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.