You may not have heard it before, but love makes the world go round. Ahh, the simple coming together of lovers. Isn’t this what it’s all about? The rest is just background noise. Together, you and your partner will build a life, a family, and a home..
But, as amazing as love is, it’s also the thing we worry the most about. If someone’s down in the dumps, their love life is often behind it. When we’re young, the majority of us experience failed relationships, breaches of trust, and broken hearts. And, through all those experiences, we worry about whether we’ll ever find ‘the one’. At points, it seems impossible But, after it’s stressed us out for far too long, they come along. Your other half. Your soulmate. And you can then live happily ever after. Well, that’s how it goes in the movies.
In reality, it doesn’t happen like that. In fact, even the most perfect love story is littered with worries for the duration. Each one is worth it, of course, and there are ways to get past each. But, if you thought you could leave the love stressing behind you, think again. Here are some of the long-love worries you’ll always face, even when you find the right person.
The very beginning
The worries at the beginning of a new love are likely nothing new to you. But, being on familiar footing here doesn’t mean you know how to cope. In fact, the more you know about this, the more you need to consider overcoming these worries. If you’ve done this a lot, after all, it suggests your coping mechanisms until now haven’t been the best.
In truth, you’re never going to get rid of the worry about what you’ll say, or wear, or do. But, you can at least learn to work with those concerns. Feel the fears, and do the thing anyway. Do your research about how to never run out of things to say. Develop a date outfit which never fails. And, most importantly, be yourself. If you try to be someone else at this stage, there’s no hope. He could turn around and decide he doesn’t like ‘your self’. His loss. At least you can rest easy that you did all you could.
The end of the honeymoon period
So, you and your man have been together just over a year. Things have gone well. You’ve said ‘I love you’ and spoken about the future. But, you’re getting to the stage where you could do with some progression. It’s been great, it really has. But, you’re starting to question where this relationship is going. One thing’s sure; you need it to move on a little.
This is natural, but it’s something which worries a lot of us. In extreme cases, we even start to question what the relationship means to our partners. Why haven’t they taken things further yet? In truth, though, they’re likely feeling the same as you. After all, you haven’t taken things further, either.
Instead of stewing on this, and making it more of an issue than it should be, it’s essential you talk to your partner. You don’t have to come out with the ‘I want your babies’ speech yet. But, there’s nothing wrong with asking where they see the relationship going. Or, you could word the query ‘Do you think we should take things to the next level?’. Small prompts like these are all it takes. Sure, you may be nervous about doing it, but someone’s got to.
In rare instances, your partner will pull back and start making excuses. If this happens, accept that you want different things. It’s better to know now than down the line. But, it’s much more likely that your partner will be glad you brought it up. If so, you could talk about moving in together, or make some other commitment which suits you both.
The early days of marriage
Many of us are under the illusion that worries end with marriage. It’s the ultimate commitment, right, so what is there to worry about afterwards? In truth, though, the worries are still there. And, it’s likely that they’ll be in full force during those first months of marriage.
Bear in mind that these worries are a little different. Instead of questioning what your partner wants, you may start wondering what you want. Marriage is, after all, a significant commitment. And, it’s one that’s impossible to understand until you’ve done the thing. All of a sudden, the wedding excitement has passed, and you may start wondering what you were thinking. You’re not ready for married life. You want your freedom back.
Again, these feelings are natural. In fact, it’d be strange if you didn’t have at least a few worries like these. But, they’re nothing serious, and you need to remember that. If you feel the need, talk these things through with your partner, and find ways to ease yourself. If you’re feeling uncomfortable being ‘the wife’, let them know. The marriage thing is new to both of you, and there may be some stuff to iron out before things get on track.
The mid-couple crisis
Last, but by no means least, is the mid-life couple’s crisis. You’ve built the family, you’ve got the kids, and yet you find yourself worrying again. You and your man haven’t so much as cuddled in weeks. Your kids are always around, and you’ve forgotten to make time for each other. What are you even doing in this relationship?
Again, normal. And, again, this doesn’t have to ruin anything. In fact, worries like these can help you see where things are going wrong. And, if you can see that, you can rectify it. If you never spend time alone together, get a babysitter in once a month and go out. If you never touch, make an effort to kiss each other at least once a day. These are small steps, but they’re sure to see you through.