In the summer of 2004 we found out that my husband may have issues with his kidneys. After lab tests and a double kidney biopsy, it was confirmed that Paul had Stage 2 (1-5 scale with 2 being “low kidney function”) kidney disease, due to a genetic condition called IGA Nephropathy (IGA). This condition had affected his body since he was born, but kidney disease is often a slow and silent killer so he didn’t know about it until he was 33 years old. With IGA, anytime Paul caught a respiratory infection like the common cold, his body was unable to break down the antibodies (white blood cells) used to fight the virus. All the years of the antibodies being forced through his kidneys caused scarring, holes and irreparable damage to the tiny filtering units called glomeruli. His kidneys had progressively lost their ability to clear wastes from his body.
As harsh as this was to take in, we focused on the good news; which was that he would likely maintain enough kidney function to last into his late 50’s or longer without having to rely on dialysis or a transplant. With children ages 12, 9 and 2, Paul and Jen were relieved to know that he could put this issue on the back burner for 20-25 years and focus on living.
Almost a decade went by before Paul’s health began to decline. After numerous visits to the nephrology doctor it was determined that his kidneys had degraded at a faster rate than initially thought. In March 2014, only ten years later, it was confirmed that Paul was in Stage 5 renal failure.
Given his low kidney function, Paul had limited options and the next step was to go through the approval process to be added to the kidney transplant wait list and begin dialysis.
Paul and I tried to put our disbelief and anguish aside and be positive. We busied ourselves with researching transplant hospitals, wait times, doctors, and how to accept life living on a dialysis machine. We discussed things with our children now 23, 19 and 11, to help them understand how our lives would change and what could be expected moving forward. The whole family stayed positive and supportive of one another during this trying time. Our two older children and me decided to be tested as kidney donors.
Thank you to Eric Schmidt Photography Chicago for the post-operation photo shoot!
In addition to our immediate family, relatives, co-workers and friends of Paul stepped forward and offered to be tested as donors with the hopes of shortening the wait time on dialysis and the lengthy transplant waiting list. The wait list for cadaver kidneys was 5-7 years in Chicago. Paul and I knew that finding a living donor match was a long-shot, but our extensive online research led us to numerous national kidney exchange programs.(read more about this here)
We knew that because finding a living donor match is so rare, this swap process would be most likely be the best route to finding a kidney for Paul, so I started the long process of becoming medically eligible to donate my kidney.
Imagine my surprise when the first labs came back and it was determined that Paul and I met the initial criteria to be a match! This news was almost too strange to believe but I felt lucky. We were told not to get our hopes up just yet because of the many tests and procedures involved with matching the tissues and antibodies. It would be a lot of testing for me and it was a long shot. The doctors told us that everything would have to be perfect and that there was a 2% possibility for spouses to be matched. I was excited and hopeful and asked that we start the process right away.
(Read more about what it takes to be a living kidney donor)
After over a month of doctors, labs and hospital visits, it was time to patiently wait for the results. We were called to the doctor’s office in August 2014 to hear the news. After some explanation about the numbers that determine the eligibility of a matching donor and recipient, it was found that we were indeed in every aspect, a truly perfect match. It was almost too much to wrap our heads around.
The next step was to schedule the surgery.
The doctors set a date for the transplant with us knowing that there were still more compatibility test to be done. It was challenging to wait because Paul’s health was declining so quickly. He was being poisoned by his own blood, but the doctors could not put him on dialysis because it increases the risk his body rejecting my kidney.
After two emotional postponements due to lab errors and further testing, the date of October 1st, 2014 was finally set in stone. We had learned to be calloused and guarded in case the transplant did not go through for some reason. We joked a lot and acted nonchalant about the ordeal but we were hoping deep down that it would all work out this time.
In the early hours of October 1st 2014, Paul and I traveled into the city of Chicago for the transplant operations at Rush University Hospital. I went into surgery first so they could remove my left kidney, and by the late afternoon it had been successfully transplanted into Paul’s lower abdomen.
I had minor complications during my surgery. Paul had two complications so serious that caused the surgery to be stalled twice and threatened his life. They almost had to abort the whole transplant while Paul was on the operating table, but thanks to the expertise of the surgeons at RUSH Hospital , Paul’s life and my (Paul’s new) kidney were saved.
It was a total success!
Three months since the surgery, all was well. Recovery was difficult at first due to the pain and slow pace but even mores because we were bored. Neither of us are people who sit still, so Paul and I painted the interior of our home. We were careful but painting didn’t require much moving around and it helped pass the time. I worked from home and went back to work after two weeks. After some time we were back to normal with Paul feeling better than ever and me feeling normal. Our main change was drinking a lot of water!
In the next few years, Paul regularly visited the hospital to monitor his kidney function. In addition, Paul had to take many pills each day which included anti-rejection and immunosuppressant pills. He would take these pills twice a day for the rest of his life which was much less intrusive than dialysis and should have extended the life of his new kidney at least 20 more years.
I believe support from family and friends is the key to handling difficult situations. We could not have kept our optimism without the love and care from the people that we care so much about! Our closest friends even threw us a Kidney Transplant Party to celebrate the excitement and it was creative and fun and so thoughtful.
We have learned that life is precious and can change on a dime. Cherishing friends and family takes priority over everything.
Love what matters and hold tight to it.
Andrew
It’s wonderful to hear that you two are doing well. A perfect match for sure!! Best wishes to the both of you! 🙂
jtemcio
Thank you! It was a fun day knowing that we’ve already made it to the 3 month anniversary 🙂 Happy New Year to you!!
Lori Pies
What a wonderful, heartfelt story. Thank you for sharing. You two are truly blessed to have one another!!
Kelly
I had seen a bit about this on Facebook earlier in the fall and heard family members talking here and there about it, but didn’t know all of these details until now. Truly amazing and inspirational story. xoxox
jtemcio
This has definitely brought us closer together (LOL)
jtemcio
Thank you Kelly <3
Angelic Sinova
I’m so happy to hear that things are going well! I live in Chicago and Rush is an AMAZING hospital! That’s crazy how were two were a match, it was fate <3
jtemcio
(Howdy neighbor!) It WAS fate! Being at RUSH has been wonderful. The doctors are phenomenal.
Robin (Masshole Mommy)
What an amazing story! Wow. How lucky he was to find you and have you in his life 🙂
maria @closeothome
I saw your updates on Facebook. thanks for sharing the entire story here. My brother did his residency at Rush and know what a great hospital it is. Wishing you both an amazing 2015
Kelly Hutchinson
What a powerfully moving story. So happy to hear you were able to be there for each other on so many levels.
Heather M
Thank you for sharing your story – all of it. What an amazing story. I wish you many long and happy years with his new kidney continuing to work.
becca
wow what an amazing story.It gives someone like me who had kidney failure hope. Thank you.
Yona Williams
What a beautiful, touching, well-illustrated (and informational) post! I am so happy to hear that you and your husband are doing well.
Shauna
Wow, thank you so much for sharing such a great story. I will keep your family in my prayers for many years of healthy life.
Heather
Wow! How incredible is that, that you were your husband’s kidney match?! Im so happy to hear about both of your recoveries. This is truly very inspiring!
Diane Nassy (@philZENdia)
What a heartfelt story. So happy to hear that things are going well. One of my roommates in college was on the list for a very,very long time, but eventually found a donor.
Annie {Stowed Stuff}
What an amazing story. Crazy to be a match! My HS friend just gave a kidney to a stranger in a trail that would help her cousin find a match. It’s amazing what kind of gift you can give when you are a match! God bless!
Scott
What a great story! You were so fortunate to have been a match, the wait could have been so long!
Kathy Baugher
Wow, what an amazing story! What a blessing that you were the perfect match.
Michele
It is incredible that you were a kidney donor for your husband. You two are most certainly soul mates! I am so glad that all turned out well for the both of you!!
Mama to 5 BLessings
I am in awe of your story. You are so selfless. I am glad everyone is adjusting well.
touristmeetstraveler
So amazing, I can’t believe people can be this selfless; it’s almost rare nowadays!
Wendy
I love this story. LOVE it. A perfect match, indeed. what a blessing the two of you are to each other!
Janeane Davis
This is such a beautiful story. I am so glad your love story turned out so well.
Heather Lawrence
What a crazy amazing story!
Praying that there will be no side effects from all the medication he has to take {that by the way looks ridiculous} and that his body continues to heal and that the two of you will live happily ever after 🙂
Debbie Denny
A wonderful story. You two have certainly found your other half.
Censie
Wow, just wow! amazing journey you guys have had. Hold each other tight. Prayers for continued healing and blessings! Happy New yEar!
Goody Bag Lady
Wow, that is so emotionally touching and loving! Congrats on truly being that perfect match.
Eileen
What an awesome story! You two are the real deal when people say “a match made in heaven.” Wishing for your fast recovery!
MJ
I am truly happy for you and Paul. You are blessed and indeed a perfect match. I lost my brother over the summer due to cancer but he was also on dialysis for 5 years prior. He continues to shine down on us. I am pregnant with my first son, and he has been diagnosed with enlarged kidneys. We are hopeful and praying that this condition will correct itself prior to birth or with immediate medical care following birth. I am happy to read your story as my baby boy could be Paul. Stay encouraged. I wishing you and your family and wonder New Year and decades more to come.
Rosey
It sounds like he is very well loved, by you and so many others. What a beautiful story. And now you are truly one…though it sounds like you were, long before he received your kidney. 🙂 Happy New Year to you both!
jtemcio
I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with so many big emotional things on your life. Congratulations on your baby boy, you are blessed to have a son 🙂 As far as his enlarged kidneys go. . . hope, prayer and education are your best survival tools right now along with support and love. I will keep you and your little one in my prayers and positive thoughts as well. Please keep in touch!
jtemcio
Thank you Rosie! Happy New Year 🙂
jtemcio
“Match made in heaven”… I LOVE that! Thanks Eileen.
jtemcio
Thanks you!
jtemcio
Happy New Year Censie 🙂
jtemcio
Ha ha! Exactly 🙂
jtemcio
Thanks so much Heather!
jtemcio
I am too Janaene… I feel so lucky!
jtemcio
Thank you Wendy 🙂
JanetGoingCrazy
What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing.
Jennifer @ The Foodie Patootie
That’s such a crazy, but magical, story! Happy to hear everyone is doing well. Amazing!
Danielle
Oh wow, what a journey you have all been on. So glad to hear everyone is doing alright!
Brittnei
I’m so glad for you and your family that everything worked out. It sounds like a really tough but memorable journey. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.
Stephanie Pass
What an amazing story! I can’t believe you were a perfect match! I’m so glad he’s doing well.
April Decheine
Wow what a story, so good to hear you both are doing well now! What an incredible journey you both have went through!
Ginger Mommy
Thank you for sharing your journey and your story. You never know who you are help by sharing what you have been through.
Debi
How true to be “destined for one another.” So happy that you both of you are doing well and all turned out fine. Inspirational story.
Shelley Lovato
Love your story. I was able to donate to my husband just 2 months ago. Gotta love the 2% club! We call it a miracle. Bless you guys!
jtemcio
You are just making out of the rough stages of recovery right now. I am so excited that you were able to be a match to your husband because you’re right – SUCH a MIRACLE! Congrats to you being a match and having a successful surgery. BE prepared for ups and downs the first year and stay positive! Thank you for sharing your story with me 🙂
Tanya Cornelius
I had my transplant 8/23/2005! I also have IGA and my mom was my donor! She gave me life twice. Your give you have given your husband is undoubtedly priceless! The medication for me has decreased from what I was on when I first had my transplant, however it’s still a lot! My husband is my soulmate and without him I probably wouldn’t have made it threw all I have gone threw these past 10 years! Treat everyday like its your last and love like crazy! Love and prayers sent your way!
Tanya
jtemcio
Hi Tanya, I am so encouraged and excited to read about your personal story!!! I am really glad to hear that you are healthy and happy and have your kidney issues under control. Thank you for the Love and Prayers (right back at you!)
Shelley Coble
I’m donating my kidney to my husband. Our surgery is set for 3/23/16.
jtemcio
Shelley that is incredible! Best of luck to you. If you want to keep in touch you can send me an email at dapperhouse@gmail.com. I would love to hear how you and your husband are doing 🙂
Sherell
My husband is donating his kidney to me on July 21. Your story is like mine is truly wonderful. I send much happiness to your family. ,
jtemcio
I am excited and moved to hear that you and your husband are a match and that you will be feeling so much better soon! Thank you for your happy thoughts as those are always needed and welcome to make life more beautiful. If you want to reach out on facebook message I am on as “Jenny Temcio” and you could let me know how you and your husband are doing after surgery!