Some Mckinney movers are saying, whenever you move in with your partner, and either of you have kids, it’s a big deal that’s fraught with potential problems and conflicts. And there are many things to consider when trying to merge your family with the family of your partner. It’s going to take a lot of work throughout the entire process to ensure your family gets off on the right foot and has the best chance of happiness going forward.
In this article, we’re going to take a look at what you can do to make the moving in process more comfortable for you and the kids involved.
Communicate With Your Kids
Open communication with your kids is vital throughout the whole process of moving in with your partner and their kids if they have any. Ask your children how they would feel about moving in with other kids and pay attention to how they reply. Don’t dismiss their fears or concerns, but understand them and acknowledge them. Make sure they know that you’ll always be open to hearing their point of view at any time during the process. Your children will fare better if they know that you’re listening to them and understanding that their concerns matter.
Talk About Parenting Styles
It’s essential that you and your partner discuss your parenting styles to find out what things you do differently and what you do the same. Discuss how to discipline children and how you both intend to apply that to all the kids involved whenever they break the rules. Once you have this matter settled, it’ll be much easier when you eventually have to support each other during times when discipline comes up.
Talk To Others
If you have friends who have blended families, make sure you talk to them about their experiences and ask them as many questions as you can. Even though all family situations are different, having as many perspectives as possible will give you a better chance of success when you have other experiences from which to draw.
Get it in your head right now that not everyone is going to get along all the time. There are going to be bumps along the road, and it’s vital that you expect this and plan on how to deal with it when it happens. Everyone is going to take their own time to adjust to the situation.
You can give all the love and attention to your stepchildren, but keep in mind; they might not reciprocate. They may come around eventually, and they may not.
Sometimes it can take up to four years for blended families to finally gel and get into their routines, and remember that younger kids usually adapt more easily than older kids. The critical thing to remember is to be patient and consistent with how you do things.
Don’t Force Labels
Blending two families is a new experience for everyone involved, especially the kids. The last thing you want to do is to force them to call you mom or dad or whatever. Talk to them and ask them what works best for them. Make sure they understand that you’re okay with their decision; this makes the situation more comfortable for them. If you force it, then you’re instantly the bad guy.
As your new family gets used to living with one another, it’s essential that you allow change within the home. It’s likely that you’ve established ground rules when you first moved in, but after a few years, don’t be surprised if the dynamic changes or goes into another direction; that’s normal for all families.
Traditions give us stability and family traditions are a great way for families to stay connected to one another. If you have traditions, it’s a good idea to keep some of them when you blend in with your new family. Also, you and your partner might want to discuss starting new traditions that the entire family can participate in. Having new traditions that include everyone will go a long way to helping everyone to come together. An example of a tradition you can start is family movie night or game night once a week, or maybe every Monday is Meatball Monday!
Keep Your Ex Informed
As your new family continues to develop and create bonds, it’s vital that you keep your ex-partner in the loop about what’s going on is that they can maintain a relationship with the kids you share. If possible, give your kids a routine schedule between your new home and your ex’s home. Remember that regardless of your feelings for your ex, the well being of your children is more important.
Change will happen throughout your family, but the best way to deal with this is to maintain stability with kids who are outside the home. You can do this by engaging in activities you used to, such as church functions or any other social activities. Keeping these connections is vital to the bond you have with your kids, and it’s going to go a long way to keep that relationship strong and healthy.
Live Life Together
The best way to help your family blend together is to live life as much as you can. Do all the little things with your stepchildren that you would do with your children, such as walking them to school or sitting down and having breakfast with them. Talk to them about their day and what they’re doing in school and share little bits of yourselves with each other.
The important thing to remember in all of this is that moving in with your partner and their kids is tough, but with patience, planning, and work, it will get better over time. Keep your expectations grounded, talk to your partner and the kids, and allow yourself to be open to new experiences, and you will be a happy, loving family in no time. Whenever it’s a short move or long distance move everyone should make the best effort to become happy.