Marriage Counselor Reveals the Most Common Mistakes That Couples Make

Each marriage is unique, yet many couples end up making the same relationship mistakes. These may be due to a form of self-sabotage, communication issues, or an improper vision of what married life is going to be like. These mistakes can create tension, resentment, and spread unhappiness throughout the marriage.

So how can couples ensure that their relationship stays solid and that they are prepared for any unforeseen circumstances that come their way?

To begin with, you can’t fix a problem if you don’t know it exists. That’s why we’re looking at 8 of the most common relationship mistakes couples make and how taking an online marriage course can help save your relationship. 

1. Thinking They can Change Each Other

One of the biggest problems couples face after getting married is thinking that they can change each other.

In a study about what makes a lasting marriage, results found that couples agreed that treating a spouse like a best friend, having the same goals and viewing marriage as a sacred institution were all key components in a successful relationship – not trying to change each other.

2. Keeping Financial Secrets

Experts agree that money matters are big issues between couples these days. 

According to a 2018 CreditCards.com poll, survey respondents admitted that finding out their spouse was hiding money would be worse than if they were having an affair. This study highlights just how severely couples feel about having finances hidden from them.

To combat this issue, couples must learn how to communicate about their finances, set a reasonable budget, and have monthly meetings to check in with their money matters.

3. Not Knowing How to Act as a Team

Ask any marriage expert and they will tell you that it is essential for couples to spend time together regularly. Studies show that married couples experience a 21 percent less likely to get divorced.

4. They Stop Communicating

When you get married, you expect it’s going to be hard work – but one of the biggest problems couples face in life is a lack of communication skills.

Communication is the backbone of any strong marriage. Couples need to be able to talk about issues big and small if they want to keep their relationship strong.

Couples can ensure they have healthy communication skills by learning to listen, acknowledging one another’s feelings, and being open and honest about their feelings. 

By taking an online marriage course, married couples can improve a couple’s communication skills.

5. Glued to their Phones

Experts are finding that one of the biggest mistakes couples make is spending too much time on their phones.

Smartphone addiction is real and can have some seriously negative consequences. Studies show that 85 percent of smartphone users check their devices while speaking to loved ones. 

Phubbing, or ignoring your spouse as you play on your phone, has been linked to lower relationship satisfaction and a significantly increased risk factor for depression.

Improve your marriage by putting your phone down when your partner is speaking to you and regularly scheduling in tech-free time together.

6. Intimacy is Not a Priority

When physical and emotional intimacy takes a backseat in your relationship, troubles are soon to follow. 

Married partners need that intimacy to keep their marriage healthy.  In a sample of 200 married couples, results indicate that physical affection is a strong predictor in relationship satisfaction, love, and liking of a partner.

Yes, the intimate bond couples share on both an emotional and physical level are very important to maintaining a happy, thriving marriage. 

There are two very important aspects of physical intimacy with a marriage. First, it triggers the release of oxytocin. This helps promote bonding, heightens emotional intimacy, and increases trust.

Second, sexual activity (as well as hand-holding, kissing, and cuddling) helps lower stress.

Regular lovemaking is also good for your health. Studies show that physical intimacy raises the body’s levels of immunoglobulin A, an antibody that helps fight off infections such as the common cold and flu.

7. Partner Blaming

A marriage is a partnership of two imperfect human beings. Complications arise when one partner blames the other for their marital woes but refuses to admit any role they are playing in the relationship problems.

Instead of blaming your partner, learn to work together.

Taking a marriage course is a great option for couples who aren’t comfortable revealing their darkest secrets to a stranger. They can also be done at the couple’s own pace (and in the comfort of their pajamas – if they so choose!)

The series of courses cover important topics such as sharing goals, learning how to be compassionate, improving intimacy, and building traditions as a couple.

8. Being Parents instead of Lovers 

If you have children and have been married for quite some time, you may start to feel more like partners in parenting rather than lovers and best friends.

It’s important to be on the same page about how to raise your children, however, instead of focusing all of your energy on being parents to your children, you must reignite the romantic flame you once shared between you. After all, one day your children will not be living with you anymore – what will your marriage look like then?