Alright, just go ahead and picture this for just a second, you scroll through social media, and there it is again. It’s something like another engagement announcement. Another friend with the keys to their brand-new house. Maybe someone else just posted their baby’s first steps, while another is bragging about their promotion with a caption about “hard work paying off.” What do all of these do? Well, you sit there thinking, “Am I behind? Am I failing at life because I don’t have all this yet?”
Like, it really bites into your self-esteem, right? That’s the trap. So, to just put it all out there bluntly, society has handed out a script for the so-called “perfect life,” and everyone’s expected to play along. You go to school, get a degree, land the big job, find a partner, get married, buy the house with the white picket fence, have kids, get that golden retriever, retire comfortably, and be on your deathbed with your whole family surrounding you.
Now, it sounds simple enough, right? But ticking off all those boxes doesn’t guarantee you’ll feel fulfilled. In fact, a lot of people who follow that script end up looking around one day, wondering why they still feel restless, disconnected, or flat-out empty. Oh, and there’s plenty of midlife crisis stories that just prove that even with societal expectations, you can still feel empty at the end of the day, or, well, midlife in this case.
There’s this Pressure of the Timeline
There’s this invisible timeline that starts the minute you hit adulthood. It tells you when you should be graduating, when you should be married, when you should be having kids, and when you should be hitting certain salary milestones. The timeline doesn’t care about your interests, your personality, or your circumstances. It just demands you keep up, like life is some kind of competitive marathon.
Honestly, sometimes this starts in high school because there are teenage entrepreneurs, teenage actors, teenage influencers, who are all successful, and of course, you need to pick out your college and major pretty soon. So yeah, technically, this can start earlier.
Anyways, the problem is, life doesn’t actually work that way. Some people meet their soulmate in high school, others meet them at 50. Some people buy a house at 25, others never want to own one at all and would prefer to travel the world. Yet that timeline whispers in the back of your mind, making you feel behind even when you’re right on track for your own journey.
Why the “Perfect Life” isn’t so Perfect
Sure, the glossy version of success looks amazing on paper. Stable career, family, home, the works. And yeah, it’s uncomfortable to think about, but a lot of people who achieve all that aren’t genuinely happy. They’re stressed, overworked, and quietly wondering if this is all there is. Not that Mad Men is a grand example, but Don Draper and his wife appeared to have the perfect life (well, appearance-wise), a gorgeous spouse, two kids, a gorgeous house in the suburbs, but neither of them was happy.
So yeah, it makes sense when you think about it. Following someone else’s blueprint for life leaves little room for figuring out what you actually want. It’s like trying to wear a pair of shoes two sizes too small. Sure, you can force your feet into them, but it’s uncomfortable, and eventually it starts to hurt too much.
Besides, the “perfect life” doesn’t factor in individuality. Maybe kids don’t feel like part of your story. Maybe owning a big house sounds more like a burden than a dream. Maybe you’d rather travel the world than climb a corporate ladder. But really, the script doesn’t care. It’s one-size-fits-all, and people are pressured into thinking it’s the only valid option.
The Role of Comparison
Well, it doesn’t help that social media amplifies all of this. People aren’t just following the script, but also broadcasting it. Just think about it; the curated posts of engagements, vacations, and promotions make it seem like everyone else is hitting milestones exactly when they’re “supposed” to. What you don’t see is the behind-the-scenes reality (which isn’t always grand), and so it’s comparison fuel, and it tricks you into thinking you’re falling short.
Consumerism Plays into It
Hopefully, you already knew this, but yes, the “perfect life” has become a marketable package. Engagement rings need to be huge, weddings need to be Instagram-worthy, and houses need to look like they belong on HGTV.
Basically, every milestone has been commodified, and the pressure to “do it right” often means spending more money than you actually have. That house isn’t just about shelter anymore; it’s now about designer furniture, custom closets, and a kitchen fit for a cooking show that you can show off on the internet. It’s not even necessary, but this push seems to be getting bigger.
Building Something Better
Well, there needs to be a shift, but it all starts with your thinking. Instead of asking, “Am I keeping up with everyone else?” try asking, “Does this actually make me happy?” It sounds simple, but it changes everything. The pressure to conform loosens, and you start carving out space for what truly matters.
Sure, it takes time to “hardwire” yourself into not thinking these things, of course. But really, the ultimate goal here isn’t to tick off some boxes in a societal checklist, but instead, you need to find meaning on your own terms here. Honestly, everyone’s path will look different, and that’s the beauty of it. The point is to build a meaningful life that feels authentic for you, instead of trying to do a staged performance for the approval of others when their expectations quite literally don’t matter at all.
You Need to Redefine Success on Your Own Terms
So if the “perfect life” doesn’t work, what does? Like what’s been said already, but there’s not really a straightforward answer to any of this. Yeah, that’s honestly the whole entire point here too. The answer’s not the same for everyone, and that’s the point. Success has to be defined individually, not collectively.
For some, it really might mean the traditional path of career, marriage, and family. For others, it might mean being single, traveling, freelancing, or living in a tiny apartment in the city forever. Neither option is “right” or “wrong.” It’s what makes you happy.
