You may have already talked about having a family and agreed that it’s something you want to do; however, before you embark on such a journey, there are some specifics you need to discuss. Having a baby can make a huge difference in your lives, and there are some changes you’ll be making. Before you actually get pregnant is the best time to discuss such subjects as childcare, parenting styles, and an endless number of other child-related topics. You don’t need to be in agreement about everything but try to agree on most things.
Is Now the Right Time?
Already agreeing that you want to start a family doesn’t mean you’ve chosen the right time to do it. There are the issues of your biological clock and finances to consider, and you also need to be confident you’re on the same page. Think about the things you both want to achieve before starting a family and see whether there are things you can tick off the list. Some items on your list are going to be far more difficult to achieve once there’s another member of the family.
While you’re thinking about whether it’s the right time, you also need to think about your care while you’re pregnant and during the birth. Birth injuries are still a risk, even with the best modern medicine available. You may be entitled to compensation should you or your child be injured, but it would be preferable if you had the best possible medical care you could trust.
The Division of Duties
Not so very long ago, there would have been no discussion needed about the sharing of baby duties. Moms stayed at home taking care of the family while dads went out to work. For modern parents, however, the division of childcare duties is a little grayer. Working the details out beforehand and agreeing on a strategy means there will be less disappointment, and one of you isn’t going to burn out before the other. Some parents successfully go with the flow while others stick to a rigid plan.
Career vs. Stay at Home
How important are your careers and is one of you willing to give it all up and become a stay-at-home parent? There may be financial considerations to take into account, but if you both want to continue with the pursuit of a career, you’ll need to agree on childcare arrangements. It is possible to have an ideal work/family balance, but it’s something you need to talk about and agree on in order to reduce the chance of resentment.
It’s likely that you were both brought up very differently as children and you may want to follow the lead of your own parents or forge your own path. One important aspect of raising children is to decide on how you’re going to discipline your child. Having a plan in place before it’s needed means you’ll be prepared.
There are plenty of options, including time-outs, grounding, sending children to their rooms, or taking away their favorite things. When it comes to discipline, you both need to be in agreement.
Making sure there is plenty of common ground before you get pregnant means far less discourse and disagreement in the future.