Safety in Relationships: How Well Do You Know Your Date?

A human mind is a complicated place, and getting to truly know someone often takes years, if that is at all possible. Therefore, when we start to date someone for the first time, it’s particularly difficult to notice any signs that could be considered a red flag.

Given that you are reading this, it is a possibility that your present boyfriend/girlfriend may have given you some reason to be somewhat apprehensive. At other times, we are simply so traumatized from a bad experience in the past, that it’s only natural to feel anxious.

Whatever your reasons might be, you have the right to ensure your own safety and mental peace in a relationship, which is precisely why the following points deserve attention. Read on as we discuss what you should be concerned about, and what to do if you are.

Increasing Number of Murders by an Intimate Partner: Cause for Serious Concern

In an ideal relationship, a couple is supposed to take care of each other as best as they can. Unfortunately, the following stats clearly show there has been an increased murder rate by one’s significant other recently:

  • 2,237 people were killed by their respective intimate partners in 2017, as compared to 1,875 in 2014
  • This marked an alarming increase of 19% between 2014 and 2017
  • 1,527 women and 710 men were killed on record

Although the report stresses the need for gun control more than the actual psychology behind it, always remember that being safe is the objective here, and someone with a murderous rage is going to eventually end up hurting their partner. Stay aware of the bad signs, and given that we can nowadays conduct a people search free online, don’t hesitate to check up on someone if you are suspicious.

Awareness is the Key

Awareness about your situation is the objective of course, but being well aware of the red flags is the first step to getting there. Go through the list below and see if the person you are currently dating has a few things common with them or not:

  • Anger issues: Dating anyone with serious anger management issues is always a bad idea
  • Emotional apathy: If someone is cold, don’t just assume that they have a soft, warm core inside
  • Obsessive tendencies: Constant obsession with anything or anyone is not healthy
  • Controlling tendencies: There’s a sharp difference between commanding and suggesting
  • Abuse: Physical, verbal and sexual abuse are of course some of the biggest red flags; never hesitate to call the police if things get violent
  • Violent tendencies towards animals: There is a significant connection between animal abuse and psychopathic tendencies
  • Long bouts of absence without explanation usually means that he/she has a secret
  • Frequent bruises: Since you are not responsible (hopefully!), who is?
  • He talks a lot but never about himself/herself enough to give you an idea of their past/family
  • Being best friends with an ex is not something that usually ends up well
  • Shady associations: If his/her friends give you a bad vibe, you know it’s a red flag
  • Bad habits: Chilling out with any addictive substance may sound like a great plan initially, but it’s a recipe for disaster

Find Out More

If there is indeed a reason to be worried, then it is within your legal right as a US citizen to check the public records for more information about the person you are dating. You can conduct a people search free of charge for information on arrest records, sexual offenses, pending or settled lawsuits, misdemeanors and felonies on sites like PublicRecordsReviews though the following page: https://www.publicrecordsreviews.com/people-search-free. Their public records are extensive and constantly updated, as and when applicable. 

If your boyfriend/girlfriend has had any run-ins with law enforcement recently or in the past, you will find out about it on public records. Even more intimate information may also be available, but access and legal usage allowances are controlled. Consult the website for more information on that.

When there’s something bothering you about your present boyfriend/girlfriend, you should first try to find out whether some of the oddities cannot be explained or dealt with before jumping to conclusions. That being said, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Just know that if there is something about his/her nature that bothers you now, it will most likely bother you even more down the line. 

With homicide by a significant other on the rise everywhere in the US, it just doesn’t make any sense to take safety risks in a relationship. Do consider how you and those already closest to you in your life (children, pets, parents, friends and other family members) will be affected if you continue dating someone who displays any signs of controlling or aggressive behavior. Depending on how you feel about that, taking the right decision should become much easier.