6 Tips on How to Get a Second Date
- Don’t talk about your ex. You might this that this one is a big “duh” but I can not tell you how many people bring up past relationships. Everyone knows that this is a dating rule, yet people get caught up in the moment and use exes as some sort of reference, either for how great they are compared to their ex or as a way to let their date know what they do or don’t like. Figure out some other ways to communicate your thoughts.
- Keep the touching light and non-threatening. It is a good idea to make some physical contact early on in the date. Otherwise it gets more and more awkward to make contact later on. Touching their arm when laughing at a joke is good. Brushing their fingers like it is an accident when you hand them a drink is good. Even grabbing their hand in a crowd is a fine way to initiate some non-threatening contact. You want to have some touch so that the friendliness and easy openness is obvious, but don’t put your hand on their lower back or try to put your arm around them mid yawn on the first date.
- Don’t overdo the perfume or cologne. Everyone likes a sexy smelling date but no one wants to have their food overpowered by the smell of a department store perfume counter. Dab or spritz some cologne and air out a bit. Be aware of heavy deodorants, oils, lotions, hair products and shower gels. You don’t want to make am olfactory assault as a first impression. Less is more. Make them want to get closer to get a whiff.
- Save some of your personal secrets for the next couple of dates. A first date can be weird, like being on an interview without anyone saying it is an interview, but don’t lay it all out there before you need to. You should definitely let your date know if you don’t like liberals or hate children since these could be second date killers, but as far as your childhood, current emotional issues and personal struggles…save that for someone who has volunteered to get to know you better a few dates in. Don’t get too deep and serious on the first date if you want a second one.
- Show some personal charm. If you know of a small off the beaten path place to have dinner or coffee, invite your date there! Don’t try to show off like you have the secret “in” on the hottest places. Let your date know that you want to share a place that you love with them instead of going to the most popular option. Have great manners and class, but don’t strive to be perfect. It will put you both at ease if you make a little mistake and openly laugh it off with confidence. Presenting yourself in a way that is likable rather than egotistical will make your date comfortable and make them want to get to see more of your charm.
- Be polite. Ask if you can call or text for a second or third date. You might think you made a fool of yourself but they might find you irresistible. You might feel a strong attraction but learn that your date wasn’t feeling the same. Just be polite and ask if they might like another date. Text or call within a day or two so that they know you are sincere and if they don’t answer back, be polite and let it go. You can’t win them all and the odds are not always in your favor but being polite can get you a second date for sure.
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