Mid life crisis can be a frightening time for a husband and wife. The spouse who is experiencing the midlife crisis has to manage the uncertain thoughts and feelings. The spouse has to navigate the effects by managing their actions and attitude. Divorce statistics don’t give us much hope in working it out and staying together during this time when you see that half of marriages end in divorce. But, if you change your point of reference and look at the statistic in a way that that half of all marriages stay together, you have lots of hope and promise that you and your spouse can survive midlife together and save every thing you have worked so hard for. If you are both willing to be honest and respectful with each other you will have a midlife of fun and adventure with the person you love! Here are 5 ways to get through midlife crisis together as a couple.
1.) Go Crazy Together – Instead of him sneaking off to buy an overpriced sports car and you going on a shopping spree in the Junior’s section of the mall, go have fun together! Talk about what you want you both would like to spend your hard earned money on. Do you agree to dip into your saving to live a little? Go out in your free time together and test drive some fun vehicles. Go shopping together and help each other to explore new styles that make you both smile and get your hearts racing. Be open and honest about changes that you want to make and support each other on your new adventures!
2.) Feed the need for excitement with each other – Instead of desperately flirting with the young and hunky guys at the bar and your husband trying to get attention from doe eyed girls at the junior college, why not get together and explore uncharted territory with each other. When couples are going through midlife they question past decisions and feel compelled to do something different. Why not take that sense of urgency and excitement to new places together! Enjoy romantic getaways filled with exciting adventures and excursions. Explore new ideas for the bedroom TOGETHER and enjoy getting to know new things about the person you love.
3.) Put your nervous inner energy and focus on a common project or interest. Feeling unsettled can make us grouchy and cause anxiety. Often we act out to try and fix these feeling in ways that are less than flattering to ourselves in the end. Instead, ask your partner to help you both find things that you like to do together. To feed your midlife crisis though, these changes will need to be extreme. Pick a sport or activity that is uncharacteristic for you both like scuba diving, mounting climbing or conquering theme parks. Then, jump into these things together and enjoy the companionship and thrill! Or, undertake a large but stress free project at home like re-landscaping the yard into a fun place to spend time together or entertain common friends. (Avoid projects that will cause stress and arguments.) Learn a foreign language together or take classes to play the guitar. Anything that you can do together and share the exciting new experience as a couple.
4.) Bring a little one back into the home. (Scared you didn’t I?) Was the midlife crisis brought on by the kids leaving home? The kids growing up and moving on often happens at the same time that mid life hits and without the co responsibility of parenting, your relationship can fall apart. Do some research together about dog breeds and go look at some puppies together. Visit shelters and rescue centers and play with some dogs to get a feel for what you both like. Once you find your new family member, go to training and obedience classes together. Take walks together each morning and night. Head to the dog park for some fun. Having a common love and focus can be just what your relationship needs at this time.
5.) Create new habits together to mix things up! If you always go to bed at different times then agree to set aside 15 minutes of FUN enjoying each other at night whether it be a quick game or sharing a funny story you heard that day. If you do your own things on the weekends like him watching sports downstairs and you reading upstairs, make a rule that you will set aside time to do something together like visit a park, watch a movie with a common interest or even play a video game together that elevates the heart rate and creates some healthy competition. Do things together that keep you connected in lighthearted and positive ways while finding new things that you like to do together!
What ways do you suggest that couples find their spark again?